Thursday, May 15, 2014

Here I am again, writing another blog post because I feel like it helps grow a little bit of creativity inside me every time I put the effort in. I really need to do this more regularly. The aim is to do it on a daily basis but obviously I’ve fallen short with that so far. I’ll make the effort to post more often though, honest.

I’ve started doing the “no fap” challenge. The idea behind this is basically that you stop masturbating for some reason. Something about self improvement, self control, increase motivation, and improvement (rather than worsening) of depression symptoms. It’s been about four days since I last smoked weed (last Sunday was the big “send off”). So far I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve been riding my bicycle every single day without fail, my appetite is a little bit down but it’s nothing too horrendous, and I’m still chowing down enough food to maintain my weight (I think) and hopefully gain some muscle too. I went for a ride today (Because, like I said… Everyday, you know) but in addition to that ride I also did a few sets of weights and thirty sit-ups. Yeah, nothing super impressive, but it’s massive progress for me none the less. So in a sense, it is super impressive.

Either way, I’m feeling pretty good about myself. I also cleaned the biggest mountain of dishes this side of the world has ever seen. Seriously, I reckon I set some sort of record with that this evening.

I’m planning on selling my Xbox 360 games sometime this week if I can be bothered. I know I won’t get much for them but it’s just something I have to do. I’ve wasted too much of my life on stupid shit like porn, hentai, video games and of course the ever so seductive Mary Jane, and it’s time for me to put all that shit behind me and make positive forward strides in my life. 

I’m head over heels for a woman that lives in a different state. I’ve known her for years, and after a recent meeting with her I can’t stop thinking about her. I was a total asshole though, got completely sloshed and fucked up on drugs, and pretty much ruined any chances with her in the near future. Not that I had much of a chance in the beginning anyway: I’m unfit (Well, that’s changing), my physique is pretty bad after years of sedentary living and undiscriminating drug and alcohol abuse (Also on the verge of changing…), not to mention I’m fucked up from Antidepressants and deep underlying depression and unhappiness in my life anyway (But again, this is changing), plus I’m a dropout with poor future prospects as things currently stand – but this too is something I’m determined to change!

Either way, being love struck is both invigorating and a major pain in the ass. Especially when through a simple facebook snoop around I can see she’s pursuing other men that have miles more going for them *cough* Law School *cough*. Yeah, I’m way out of my league here.



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